awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
