apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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