I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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