my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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