I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
