Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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