I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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