Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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