I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
