This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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