apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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