She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
that may or may not have been my penis.
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