Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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