Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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