no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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