When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
