you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
