She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
