On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
