I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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