He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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