Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
