textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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