If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
