I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
