Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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