just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
