She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
