she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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