p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
