I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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