What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
