dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
