There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize