So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
