I'm eating all of the evidence.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
