Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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