i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
