I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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