He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sober January is a disaster.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
