i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
