there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
