I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
