Where is the hickey?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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