If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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