It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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