Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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