If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
In America we eat man semen.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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