What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
