As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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