so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
