I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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