It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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